God vs. Satan

I read the following on a message board I frequent. There is and always has been a very anti-Christian bias on the forum in question and this pretty much more of the same. It’s amazing how many people actually fall for this and get roped into a “debate” they cannot win. I find that it’s best to just ignore these trolls. This one was particularly crass so I thought I’d share.

“God is supposed to be a compassionate entity. But only if you do things his away by admitting fault and repentant. Otherwise, you risk being damned to hell. Satan takes all comers. One seems more compassionate than the other.”

See if you can count the misconceptions, fallacies, and faulty assumptions. Personally, I didn’t even try.

Engineering Hell

I saw this on this site but thought I’d post it here as well.

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says:

“Ah, you’re an engineer, but you worked for a high-tech startup company and got rich. You’ve had too good of a life, so now you can’t come in here.”

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are all upgraded and there are speaker wires running to every room. Even the clocks on the VCRs are set. The engineer becomes a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says,

“So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are faster than ever and we’ve got music in every room.There’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake, he should never have gotten down there! Send him up here-NOW.”

Satan shouts back, “No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right….and just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?”

Pointless Corporate Meetings

Yeah, that’s likely a very big oxymoron but it adequately portrays my opinion of nearly every work meeting I’ve ever had the misfortune of attending. This image is also a pretty good representation of how I feel about most meetings:

On Wednesday, my co-workers and I were subjected to a point